Beginning…again!

This is my first post on this blog.

I’ve blogged in many places over the years. I’ve also deleted almost all of those blogs. I still have my daughter’s heart transplant blog, which I just updated after a seven-year hiatus (!), and that’s about it.

I’m telling you this because I realized something about myself today. I start blogs because I genuinely love writing. I love interacting with people and learning about their lives, their places and people, their ideas, and the things they’re excited about.

And then my insecurities sneak in.

I’m not posting consistently enough. I’m not doing this “right.” I don’t have enough interesting things to say. My blog doesn’t look the way it’s supposed to look.

Eventually, I stop writing. And apparently, I then just delete the whole darn thing.

But today I realized that I miss the writing and relational space. I miss the interactions. I miss having somewhere to put the things I’m thinking about. And I miss the process of writing for an audience. Even if that audience turns out to be only a handful of people who I’ve never actually met in person.

So, I’m beginning again. And I’m doing it under a name that I had decided didn’t fit me.

Sparkle & Spritzers.

I bought this domain after my recent birthday trip to Sonoma where I felt really good about myself, a bit “sparkly” perhaps, and I drank some wine spritzers.

Then, I almost immediately decided I couldn’t use it because I’m not particularly sparkly and I don’t spend my afternoons sipping spritzers on fabulous patios. I felt like it would be a “lie” or an online persona that didn’t match who I was in person.

But, then I thought I was looking at it all wrong. Because I WAS that person for a few days. And I could be that person more often.

Sparkle doesn’t mean “I am a sparkly person all day, everyday.” It means I can find a little more fun, interest, connection, confidence, beauty, ridiculousness – whatever – in my oh-so-ordinary life.

And Spritzers doesn’t mean “this cocktail blog.” It’s more about leisure and celebration. Sitting down with someone. Trying something new. Enjoying myself.

In other words, the title is aspirational, not my persona. And I think that’s actually much more realistic at this stage of my life.

I’m in my late 50s. I work full-time, plus a side gig. Tomorrow, my daughter starts her senior year of high school. I’m heading into a year of lasts and firsts, followed by parenting an adult and, before too long, an empty nest.

I’m definitely not presenting The Fabulous Life of a Sparkly Woman Who Drinks Aperol Spritzes. That actually makes me laugh a little when I read it. That is so not my life right now.

I can write about my ordinary, somewhat chaotic life while I’m still figuring things out. AND I can seek out ways to bring more sparkle and have a few more drinks on patios along the way!

So here I am. Beginning again.

And if you happen to recognize me from Speaking of Easy (I would link to it, but I deleted it – sigh), hi! I can’t bring it back, but I can start writing again!

This time, I’m going to try very hard not to not think this has to be done perfectly. I’m just going to write. Imperfectly. Showing up, mostly.

Hope to see you here again!